admin 
Good evening and hello from the local high street on the planet Earth. I am just a no name reporter and I wish I had nothing to say, but a space alien dressed in shiny clothing tried to sell me half a biscuit today, and I was absolutely outraged, and truly shocked at such despicable behaviour. Yes, it was absolutely awful behaviour by the space alien who was called Susan.
Susan tried to sell me half a biscuit, and although I am quite fond of biscuits, when someone tries to sell you half a biscuit, you never know whose mouth the biscuit has been in and what germs could be covering the remainder of the biscuit.
For example there may be a disease that keeps making you want to sellotape traffic wardens to a lamppost, and another disease could be that it makes you think that you are a biscuit. Which of course would be incredibly unusual and not very helpful when you are trying to shave your legs and call yourself Betty.
Still, if I were a travelling salesman, I would like to think I would have more manners and be much more polite than the space alien that tried to sell me half a biscuit!
The Space alien cuddled up to my leg and began kissing it, and then made very strange noises, which was not very helpful whatsoever, and incredibly irritating. In fact it was infuriating and I felt like telling the space alien get lost, but the space alien told that she had had a really hard day and couldn’t even manage to sell any second hand bogie’s whatsoever! Second bogies are awful she said but they do usually sell. Now would you kindly buy my half a biscuit or I will shoot you with my laser gun!
Now that was an offer I could not refuse as I did not have my laser gun either, and I would not have been able to defend myself at all, and although I was not frightened as I have the ability to teleport, I thought I had better not take the risk, as teleportation can sometimes go wrong. Once for example I ended up in a mans trousers by accident and he was not very pleased at all! So, on that thought I gave in and purchased the half a biscuit, and then slapped my thighs and called myself Betty Bongolow!
