Roger the audio single part 1
Roger the audio single part 2
(C) Benjamin Robinson 2025
In the midnight sky,
I was soaring high,
deflecting stars,
as the cosmos whirred by.
And as I flew,
there were whispers of light,
in a journey home so divine,
and I had an inkling that something was wrong,
and a shadow fell upon my soul,
and my heart, it felt troubled but I knew not why,
and then, I received a telephone call from my friend Roger,
who I hadn’t seen for ages since we ate a roast dinner together and drank wine,
and what he told me made feel ill,
because Roger was screaming down the telephone line,
and then, when,
I was a million miles away,
I heard his screams,
and I heard his pain,
and I felt his pain too,
and he was being attacked by a kangaroo,
and had sadly been caught unawares,
whilst crouching down in Australia,
attempting to go for a poo,
and now I am still feeling it all,
the shock of Roger,
the fear,
the screaming,
the fright,
Oh, poor Roger,
poor, poor Roger,
he was attacked by a kangaroo,
a wild kangaroo one in the night,
But there was nothing that I could do,
and my spaceship couldn’t make it there in time,
and all Roger had about him to fight,
was a toilet roll,
and with that he could not put up much of a fight,
and in that terrible night,
the telephone call, it broke my spirit,
and it came like a thunderous beast,
roaring into my eardrum,
and Roger screamed and screamed and tried to run away,
but he was not fast enough,
and the kangaroo attacked him again.
And then,
the pulse of the universe was bittersweet,
And Roger, you stood tall,
and faced the world with a grin,
but you had a storm in your heart,
that I couldn’t rescind, and it was a tragedy,
and in my spaceship,
I couldn’t make it on time,
and there wasn’t enough time to rescue you,
and you had a heart attack and sadly died,
but afterwards,
came a letter from you that you had written before you had died,
and It was like a breeze from the past,
and those words are like a melody, forever in tragedy unsurpassed,
and in the letter you said,
bury me Alfonso,
bury me deep, where the wild things roam,
bury me Alfonso, please In Borneo’s jungle,
and let the earth be my home,
and then cover me softly in gravy so rich,
and afterwards cover me in roast potatoes, peas, cabbage, and carrots too,
and then drink to me my dearest friend,
Father Alfonso Lonely,
and wherever you are on the planet,
think of me often,
and I promised as I read the letter to do so,
and I thought to myself,
In the heart of the earth, Roger,
you will always shine,
because Roger, you were my best friend,
and you died too soon,
and I will always remember you,
and In the jungles of Borneo,
where the spirits play free,
Roger you will be forever,
my brother, my plea.
And when I am flying through the galaxy,
and holding you tight,
Your laughter in my mind,
is the stardust,
and will always light my nights,
and although the galaxy is wild,
and the journey across the universe is so long,
In the heart of the universe,
you are the beat of my heart,
and your voice in my memory will always be,
my forever song,
and although you lay in a gravy condition now,
you believed that a roast dinner and gravy would resurrect you somehow,
and I shall keep checking in Borneo from time to time,
in case you come back to life,
and I curse the kangaroo that killed you,
because it wasn’t right,
and now because of you,
Roger lays in a gravy condition,
and now, I often think of him covered in huge quantities of roast dinner,
and gravy,
and a tear springs to my eye,
and when I eat roast dinner these days,
I think of you laying in a gravy condition in Borneo,
and of the fun we had,
and if times gone by,
so, here’s to you Roger I always say,
when I drink a glass of wine or two,
and hope that roast dinner and gravy will resurrect you soon.
[Female voice]
(Hello Roger, Roger, wake up, wake up, you can’t just keep laying there in the Borneo rain forest doing nothing despite being dead, because you still have not paid me for the gravy, oh, Roger when are you going to pay me for the gravy? When Roger? When?!!!!!!!!!!)
[Organ solo]
[Flute solo]
[Drum roll]
[Female voice]
(Oh, my, oh my, ooooohhhhhh my, Roger has come back to life!!!)
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