The Electric Fish Finger
Owner: Unknown. Possibly itself.
A humming frozen snack capable of powering three kettles, one torch and a small argument about health and safety.
Official Archive
Museum of Ridiculous Things
A carefully preserved collection of dangerous props, suspicious technology, heroic rubbish and objects that should not be left unattended in the Space 2047 galaxy.
Brian's Emergency Moustache Comb
Owner: Brian
Issued during facial-hair turbulence. Not to be used near magnetic fields, jealous rivals or soup.
Cedric's Anti-Gravity Teabag
Owner: Cedric
Designed to improve tea. Mostly improves the ceiling. Cedric insists floating tea is the future.
Gertrude's Planet Polisher
Owner: Gertrude
Originally a mop attachment. Now classified as planetary equipment after the moon incident.
Eric Strudelhofen's Regulation Stamp
Owner: Eric Strudelhofen
So official it once approved itself, rejected the appeal, and fined the desk for looking suspicious.
The Emergency Space Baguette
Owner: Karen
A defensive bread product used during difficult negotiations, alien encounters and picnics that have gone wrong.
Father Alfonso Lonely's Organ Key
Owner: Father Alfonso Lonely
Pressing this key may deflect meteorites, awaken choirs or make the building lean slightly to the left.
Gerald's Doorway Extension Permit
Owner: Gerald
A legal document allowing certain doorways to become taller out of basic politeness.