Salomina – character excerpt
Salomina is one of the pilots of the spaceship, and is a dark haired seductive looking woman, who once seduced a sentient vacuum cleaner by accident. Yes, Salomina, is well famed for her beauty, and is a wild and a crazy individual, who once won the lottery, and then after winning the lottery, she ate the prized ticket deliberately to prevent people stealing the immense riches that she would have had. And her motto is money doesn’t make you happy, unless you insert it into an annoying person where the lightbulbs don’t shine. Now, apart from that, Salomina likes to wear the latest fashions, and is currently wearing a nun’s habit from the fifteenth century. It is a very clean habit of course, because the washing machine sales robots regularly service all the ships washing machines on a regular basis. But despite wearing a nun’s habit, Salomina has some dirty habits, and is frequently cleaning her nose with the end of Brian’s toothbrush, a fact that Brian has yet to discover. Salomina, thinks that clean nostrils are the answer to godliness, and she regularly flicks her bogeys into the garbage chute, and hopes that one day they will become sentient beings, with their own individual spacecrafts. Oh, it is a great ideal to have such dreams, and as the software of the intergalactic communication system, I hope to see it too, because there isn’t a great deal of intelligence in humans, and some are incredibly stupid, and I admire Salomina for taking a stand against money, because money has caused the human race so much stress and anxiety for far too long. And money well, they used to say a long time before I was even an intergalactic communication system, is the root of all evil. But I am not sure about that, because I once accidentally paid for a human being to be dropped into a rubbish chute and fired at a singing meteorite.
